Why We Shouldn't Let Our Hearts Go Cold

Today I cried. Today I felt lonely. Today I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. I have a dear friend of mine who isn’t good at responding to my messages, calls, etc. On days like these, I can’t understand what I did wrong to make it so difficult to be around me.

My mom and I sat down as tears strolled down my face, as I ask her why people will not stay in my life. My mom is quite literally a badass. She is seriously the dream badass mom that everyone wishes was theirs.  So she tells me that sometimes I am just too kind and people like to take advantage of that. 

I have had many people say that I should stop caring about people who are unwilling to give me their time because when I try to be loyal, kind and loving, I get ghosted. My mom told me that I shouldn't change who I am because others believe I should. I should what what I feel is right.  

This is why we shouldn't stop being who we are. 

I still love and care about them, even if they don’t care about me. 

There is a large chance that in my lifetime, I will come across many people who do not care about me as much as I care about them. If you are like me, then the probability is also high. It is part of our human nature to care for people. To be loyal to them and love them even when it’s hard. Why would we deny our own human nature, just because others don’t reciprocate? 

They may need this more than they say. 

Sometimes we get no thank you. Sometimes the person is not consciously thinking wow this was so kind of them. But here’s the thing, if they are ever alone and everything else abandons them, they will always remember that you were there. They will remember that you were the kind one. 

If I become a stone, does that make them less of a stone? 

When people are unkind to you or unloving, sometimes we have a tendency to turn in and be unkind. It can be incredibly hurtful and you may feel very vulnerable. Sometimes people give  advice to fight back, don’t give them your time or get harder skin. I question this. These people may be unkind. They may have hurt me. But if I become unkind, does that make them less unkind? No. It just makes me unkind. 

At the end of the day, I want to be remembered as the one who didn’t give up on them.

We are all going to pass away one day. One day we will only be a memory. I don’t want to be a memory of hatred and angry for others because people hurt me. I want to be remembered for being kind even when most people wouldn’t be. I want to forgive the unforgivable. I want to help those who will never say thank you. Not because I want praise or to be remembered. Because one day all I will be is the kindness/hatred I spread to others. I choose kindness. 

I choose Bravery, authenticity and kindness.

So yes. I will probably continue to cry because my heart gets hurt. I will probably still feel alone at times while I feel that I may be taken advantage of, but it’s worth it I suppose. I choose kindness. 

 Destinie June